In the beginning stages of wedding planning, your guestlist is undoubtedly one of the first things that will come to mind.
Who will you want to share this special day with? Will you have a large wedding or a more intimate affair?
You’ll begin drafting your guest list, usually starting with immediate family, extended family, close friends, plus ones, and of course the age old question will arise…
Kids? or No Kids?
Everyone has their opinion on this conundrum. There is your mom who wants to make sure your sister doesn’t feel like her kiddos are being excluded. Your best friend who thinks her adorable little girl would make the perfect flower girl for your wedding day. And even your second cousin, Jenni, who automatically assumes that her entire family of 7, will be included on your guest list.
No wonder you feel torn! But we are here to give you permission to make the sometimes unpopular decision of having a kid-free wedding.
Read on for our top four Envy Expert reasons why your guest list doesn't have to include children, and for our exception to the rule...
1. Your Wedding Should be About YOU
We totally get it, precious baby smiles light up the room, and kids really do say the darndest things that make us LOL.
BUT, the important thing to remember is that YOUR wedding day is NOT about them! It should be 100% about you and your fiancé.
Sometimes kids take away that attention and spotlight from you and your Sweetheart and the focus shifts from being on you, to being on them.
While some of our more shy couples are “okay” with this, we still feel as though it is best to allow yourself one day where you are the center of attention, and allow your loved ones to shower you with the love and adoration that you both deserve.
2. Weddings are Parties for Adults
While this may not be the first thing that comes to mind, when you really step back and think about it, weddings are parties for adults.
What we mean by this is that they are long days, with lots of people, who are often liquored up, dancing to loud music - this is not the ideal place for kids. It’s best to keep your littlest loved ones home, safely tucked into bed with a sitter, so that the grown ups can let loose and enjoy the day without the worry of stepping on tiny Timmy’s toes!
Note: Even for those of you that plan on having a dry wedding, or a more tame wedding without these factors - reasons 1, 3, and 4 for a kid-free guest list still remain true, keep reading!
3. Give Mom and Dad a Day Off
Some parents will openly say it, while others might need the nudge, but Mom and Dad deserve the break!
Parents work hard day in and day out to take care of their babes, attending a wedding is a chance to relax and enjoy some adult company.
Some guests will take this as a way to politely decline your invitation if they are not comfortable or willing to get childcare for the day. But, most parents will understand where you’re coming from and will welcome the opportunity to attend your wedding and celebrate with you, sans kids!
4. Kids Still Cost
Now, this is something that most people don’t even consider in those early stages of planning when the guest list is drafted, but kids still cost!
If budget is at all a concern, which, for most people it is, the amount of people on your guest list - including children - is a huge factor in how far your budget will go. For most weddings each seat at your ceremony, place settings at your table, and meal served equates to $$$$ spent.
Kids meals may cost less, but they still cost, you’ll still want to have their place setting look the same for the photos, and you’ll still likely need a place for them to sit (unless they are an infant, in which case see reasons 1, 2, and 3!).
Envy's Exception to the Rule
Hopefully, after reading our four reasons to forgo kids on your guest list you feel more confident in your decision to have a kid-free wedding.
If you’re still on the fence, here is our exception to the rule: kids that are IN your ceremony.
If you have your own kiddo or kiddo(s) that are especially important to you and your fiancé we understand why you would want to include them in your ceremony and photos.
However, we still standby our rule that kids should not attend the reception of your wedding, for the aforementioned reasons.
For ways to handle difficult conversations with guests who challenge the “no kid” guest list decision, and for more etiquette on having a kid-free wedding, stay tuned for more posts in this series coming soon!